Our Donor

The chosen one, Patrick, THE DONOR.. Unsure what we are to call our donor but we have had success in choosing our donor 🙂 Lucky there was an option for my fiancé Laura and I !

We had three, yes only 3 options! I am happy to say the donor we chose was quite special to us and the chosen one had so may similarities to my partner including  eye and skin color (blue), ethnic background and family history! We were both very excited 😀 Not only does the chosen one have those similarities he has a profession I highly respect and I really believe it takes a caring patient and passionate person to do that type of job and those are some of the qualities I want to install in to my child!

I can’t wait until we can begin the process of IUI. Fingers crossed or us that all goes ahead and everything will be ok and luck is on our side.

Marriage & a Gayby on the horizon

I’ve been with my now fiancé just shy of 7 years and we are about to get married in New Zealand. Im so excited!

It would have been lovely to have been able to marry in Sydney, our home, with all of our family however as you already know- Australia does not allow people of the same sex to be legally married on their home soil, at least not yet. Come on Australia! Get with the times already!

Who’s takes who’s name in a gay/lesbian relationship are you wondering? Well its personal choice. I love my current sir name and originally I wanted to hyphenate my sir name how ever my fiancé has never liked hyphenated names.. Ive chosen to take her name not for this reason but more so because A. She proposed to me and B. Because I have a large family and she has a small family, In fact if we don’t have a child her family name won’t be carried forward. I know it meant a lot to her so I decided I would change my sir name although I’m always a *insertsirnamehere* at heart  😉

Originally were were eloping! How ever we already had our holiday to New Zealand planned with my parents. We both thought NZ would be a beautiful place to get married so decided to get married there. We were going to make it an elopement as I mentioned however,  since my parents were going to be in NZ at the same time we decided we may as well tell our immediate families (parents and siblings only) of course the excitement got the better of me and I also told a couple of friends..a close aunty…but thats it!

Ive almost gotten everything ready! Im probably the only bride who has ever spent more money on my jewellery  than my dress! I was super lucky though as I found a beautiful dress for as little as $200!!! and its gorgeous. I admit it wasn’t what I was looking for however what I was looking for did not suit me and by chance I just tried this dress on and it felt so right! suited me to a T!

Im looking forward to marrying my love and starting our next journey in life. When we come back we will be starting the process of having a baby! We will be using the Intra-uterine insemination (IUI) process as I am under 29 years of age so my chances of falling pregnant are fairly good on paper.

The Process!

Firstly I had to go to my GP and get a referral to see a specilaist at a fertility centre, we met with the specialist and got given a lot of information and asked a lot of questions. We both had to have so many tests done! before you even start the process for both you and your partner! we had to both get a urine test to test for chlamydia and a whole bunch if blood tests for other diseases. The specific tests required are CVM (which is a respiratory disease that affects 80% of the population- you don’t even know you have it!) ,HIV, HTLV I, RPR (a test for syphilis), Hepatitis B Surface Antigen, and Hepatitis C antibody. Rubella immunity (German measles),Chicken pox, Full blood count, checking your blood group, your thyroid status and Current pap smear (within last 2 years). So yes just a few vials of blood had to be taken as you could imagine.

The only thing mentioned above that I wanted and needed to be exposed to was CVM! you see If I hasn’t ever been exposed to it than my donor would have also had to test negative to CVM. If the donor was positive and I was negative regarding CVM exposure and I used that donors sperm it would affect the baby development! Luckily I had been exposed in the past to CVM! BIG RELIEF.

Being the one who is planning to carry the baby I also had to get a vaginal ultrasound to check for fibroids, polyps and finally ovarian cysts. This was not something I felt comfortable doing at all however I had to do it. I also had to be flushed out to remove any blockages there may have been. I have to say it was amazing to see my eggs on the monitor! That was quite exciting !! Apart from wondering if the gynaecologist was secretly judging my vagina lol, It was slightly painful..It felt like period pain for about 30 seconds or so.

A mandatory part of the process is that we had to have 2 counselling sessions regarding IUI/IVF about any concerns we had, the legal side of the donor/ recipient, the law, expectations of conceiving etc They were ok. A good waste of money for us because we well researched everything! we already knew about the law and what to expect. There wasn’t much we didn’t already know. I personally thought it was a good waste of money how ever if you want to have a baby via a fertility clinic it is mandatory.

Now that we have had all our tests and are clear plus have had the counselling sessions we are all good to go ahead! All we need now is to let the clinic know when the time is right! So hopefully by the end of April we’ll be pregnant! 😀

I’ll write blogs as we go through the process 🙂